


All Too Well - An AU Olicity Songfiction.

by Gwenfckay



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Felicity Smoak - Fandom, Green Arrow - All Media Types, olicity - Fandom
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Gen, Song Lyrics, all too well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8486491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwenfckay/pseuds/Gwenfckay
Summary: An AU olicity songfic based on the song All Too Well by Taylor Swift.Felicity attends Thea's and Roy's engagement party only to be haunted by the memories of her past relationship with Oliver. Told from Felicity's POV.





	

**Felicity’s POV.**  
  
  
This all just felt too nostalgic. I look down at my shoes trying to mask the anxious look I had written all over my face. “Deep breath Felicity.”  
Comforting myself is not something that I was good at.  
  
I walked up to the doorstep, wine in hand. As my fingers were ready to ring to doorbell, I thought about the last time that I was here, the last time that _we_ were here. I shove the thought aside and press the little white button that in return gave a chime of the most melodic sounding tunes.  
  
_I walked through the door with you_  
  
Thea greeted me with the biggest hug and said, “I’m so glad you’re here! When I didn’t hear back from you, I figured you weren’t going to make it.” The outer corner of her lips pulled to form a slight smile. “This is for you. Congratulations Thea, I’m overjoyed for you and Roy.” I managed. I truly was happy for them, how Roy was finally done with his time in the Navy and how they are finally able to start their lives together.  
  
_The air was cold but something 'bout it felt like home somehow_  
  
I made my way through the hallway but something caught my eye before I could reach the living room.  
  
_I left my scarf there at your sister's house_

I recalled the first time we visited Thea; back when your parents had just given it to her and being Thea, she had to throw a housewarming party. It was the windiest autumn day Star City had ever seen and I wore that teal scarf you gave me as a Christmas present one year. I took it off and hung it over the handrail at the bottom of the stairs. That was probably the last time I ever wore that scarf.  
  
**_And you still got it in your drawer even now._**  
  
I made my way to the living room, talked to a few of our friends. When someone finally brought it up, it being _you_ , I talked for a bit but then excused myself and headed straight for the kitchen.  
  
**_Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze_**  
  
I walked over to the sink and while staring out the window, all I could see in the darkness were leaves scattered everywhere. I think about this one time we went on a quick getaway. We decided to drive because it was a long weekend and we were more comfortable in our car than on the train.  
  
**_We're singing in a car getting lost upstate_**  
  
The view was phenomenal and you couldn’t stop talking about how you loved the smell of leaves. It was too musty for my liking but I rolled down the windows for you just so you could enjoy it. That was the last time we drove upstate together. _Leaves._ Of all things that remind me of you.  
  
**_The autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place and I can picture it after all these days_**  
  
I turn around to find Roy entering the kitchen. He caught my eye and made his way over to me. “It’s great to see you Felicity.” He approaches and then gives me a quick hug. We talk for a bit about him giving up being in the Navy and returning home. He doesn’t mention it but I can see how being there changed him. He’s done so much growing up since the first time I met him, he doesn’t know it but I’m so proud of him.  
  
**_And I know it's long gone, and that magic´s not here no more_**  
**_And it might be okay, but I'm not fine at all._**  
  
I catch a glimpse of John and excuse myself to go and see him. I lose sight of him but as I turn around to figure out where he’s gone, there _you_ were. Staring back at me with those baby blues.

 ** _Cause here we are again on that little town street_**  
  
The same blue eyes that caught my gaze as I was waiting to cross the intersection.  
  
**_You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me_**

The same smile that could’ve landed you in the hospital for being such a reckless driver. I remember yelling at you about that day, “Hun, that was the only way I was ever going to get your attention.” It’s what you always said to me whenever I brought it up.  
  
**_Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well._**  
  
  
I get home and the thought of you still lingers in my mind. I take a seat and give in to my thoughts. I recall the time we visited Moira and Robert right before thanksgiving. The first time we visit your childhood home.  
  
**_Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red_**  
  
You’re trying to steal away the photo album from your mom but I say that you can do the same whenever we visit my mother. You get excited and all I can do is grin because I know that’s never going to happen.  
  
**_You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed and your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the t-ball team_**  
  
As she tells me about your childhood, she’s pointing out the corresponding pictures. I’m laughing my head off at this point and you cross your arms and turn away. Robert points out a picture of you and I find myself cooing over how hilariously adorable you look and you sit mortified because of your naked bum on show in the picture.  
  
**_You tell me about your past thinking your future was me_**  
  
You show me around your old room, that twin-sized bed now looking to small for you. We dig out your old yearbook and you tell me about your medals and trophies. As you hand me your letterman jacket, you say, “Here! I’ve always wanted my girl to wear my jacket.” I put it on and even though high school you was much smaller than adult you, I’m still drowning in it.

 ** _And I know it's long gone, and there was nothing else I could do_**  
**_And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to_**  
  
That forest green and white letterman jacket with the initials OQ still hangs over the chair in my study. I don’t ever put it on anymore because I need not bring up memories that are long gone.  
  
**_Cause here we are again in the middle of the night, we're dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light_**  
  
I get up to make some hot chocolate. Yours were always the best because you’d put condensed milk in to make it even sweeter. I’ve adopted that in my recipe now. It’s bittersweet because every sip I take reminds me of _you_.  
   
I turn around to put the condensed milk back into the fridge and that’s when the refrigerator light that lit up the dark kitchen brought me back to the time I was stressed with work and went to get a beer from the fridge. Before I could close the door, you were there taking me into your arms and practically forcing me to slow dance with you.  
  
“Oliver come on, there’s no music!” I objected and you paused for a second and started singing a horrible rendition of _Moon River_. I begged you to stop and said I’d rather dance in silence. You looked down at me pretending to be offended and it was then that I knew I loved you because even in my craziest state, you knew how to make my laugh. Even when I pushed you away, you pulled me back in.  
   
**_Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well._**  
  
  
I took my hot cocoa upstairs and started winding down. I stepped into the shower to clear my head, only to get lost in my thoughts yet again.  
  
**_And maybe we got lost in translation,  maybe I asked for too much_**  
  
It was the day I got offered the promotion that I was working towards, I called you to tell you the good news but what I was greeted with on the other end was the worst news I could’ve ever imagined.  
  
That was the day you got your diagnosis. It was supposed to be a routine check up. I was ready and willing to give up everything, turn down the promotion and go with your wherever you needed to go for treatment but you wouldn’t hear any of it. It turned out lives upside down and I didn’t think for a second that what would happen next, would. But it did.  
  
**_But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up_**  
  
From there on out, anger consumed you. You were angry at me wanting to give up everything for you, angry at the world for what has happened to you. I empathized, how could you go through what you were without being a little mad at everything? I couldn’t get through to you and all you did was shut me out.  
  
**_Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well_ _._**  
  
Finally, it became evident that we couldn’t talk anymore. The cancer turned you into someone I couldn’t recognize. Like I said, what happened next, neither of us saw coming. It happened so fast. Within a week of us breaking up, you moved in with Thea and I packed up and moved to Central City. The words still play on repeat like a broken record in my mind, “Just leave! I don’t love you anymore.”  
  
**_Hey you called me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest_**  
  
Two months after we broke up and I found myself staring at my phone as it rang in my hand. It’s _you_. What could you possibly want from me? What more could you say? What more could you take?  
I morbidly consider the worst has happened before hastily pick up.  
  
**_I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lying here cause I remember it all all all too well._**  
  
“Oliver?”  
“I love you and I’ve always loved you and I will always love you. I hope you still know that and I hope you didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t because I could never not love you. It’s because I love you that you need to move on with your life. I only want the best for you, I was never the best then and I could never be the best now.”  
  
I cannot form words, so I stay silent.  
  
“I’m defective, I’m no good, you don’t deserve someone who is terminally ill. You’re the best part of my life, you deserve someone whose life you can enrich till you’re both old and grey. And if I had to hurt you in order to let you know that, then know this too, I’m sorry.”  
  
  
The hot steam from the shower and inability to breathe brought me back to reality. _How long had I been lost in thought?_ I get out of the shower, brush my teeth, put on my plaid pyjama top and tuck myself into bed.  
  
**_Time won't fly it's like I'm paralyzed by it_**  
**_I´d like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it_**  
  
There was no way I would be sleeping that night. Too much reminiscing in the past 6 hours brought up emotions and feelings that had been locked up for far too long.  
  
**_After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own_**  
  
I look down at my top, it was yours and I had made my own. We rocked up to one of our dates both wearing plaid shirts and it just became our thing from then on. Fortunately for me, you had tons and I would sneakily keep them on my side of the wardrobe hoping you wouldn’t notice.  
  
**_Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone_**  
  
I gave them all back to you when I left for Central City. except for this one. You probably noticed, it was your favorite, as it was mine. The Saturday before my big move, I heard a knock at the door and I expected it to be you, showing up with some of my things that you were still in possession of but instead you got a courier service to do it for you _. How romantic_. I remember thinking, how did we come to this?  
  
**_But you keep my old scarf from that very first week cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can't get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well._**  
  
When it was autumn again, I searched high and low for my favorite teal scarf. I remember wanting to put it away when it was summer but you insisted on keeping it because you liked having something of mine with you at your office. I was looking through the box of things you sent me when it dawned on me that just like your red plaid shirt that I decided to keep, maybe you decided to keep my teal scarf. I pondered for a while and resigned to the thought of that.  
  
**_Cause there we are again when I loved you so_**  
**_Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known_**  
**_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_**  
  
  
I snap out of my thoughts, my heart feeling heavier now after all that reminiscing. I should probably get some rest and stop my mind from bringing up old memories that really shouldn’t emerge from the depths of my mind where I left them.  
  
_Happy thoughts now, Felicity, happy thoughts._  
  
**_Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all_**  
**_Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all_**  
**_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well._**

As my eyes give in to sleep, I was reminded of yours. Who could ever forget those baby blues? They looked much duller in that picture of you that I spent too long staring at back at Thea’s. What I would give to look into them once again. Maybe I’ll dream of them, maybe I’ll dream of you.  
  
_Happy thoughts, Felicity, happy thoughts._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've written in YEARS and when I say years, I mean at least 8 years. I hope you enjoyed it and please don't be too harsh. When I listen to this song, this specific storyline isn't the first thing that pops into my head. I've always thought it was a song about high school sweethearts and forgotten love. I was going to write a story similar to that but then I thought, lets switch things up and that's where I crafted this story. I hope it wasn't too predictable, do leave me feedback on what I can improve on. I appreciate it all, good or bad. Thanks everyone!!


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